The side of motherhood that people don’t talk about

Hey mumma’s,

Many motherhood and lifestyle bloggers, as well as influencers alike claim to portray the ‘realities of motherhood.’ I, for one, am guilty of this however, at times the pressure of social media and not wanting to be depicted as a ‘struggling mother’ or any other negative description, impacts the picture of what the reality really is😣.

I haven’t made a blog post since June and so, I wanted to share with you my reality.

Some people prefer YouTube, some like Instagram reels or Tik Tok. I like to write.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post, it means a lot to me 🙏🏾.

Where do I start…

Well the months leading to the ease of lockdown were not the easiest for me. At first I was nervous about leaving the house and then, I started to feel ‘locked up’ and like I was actually being robbed of making memories with my daughter 💔. This feeling was further heightened by the fact that summer has Not been SUMMERY as such (I mean we have had like two heat waves and it’s basically been winter! 😕)

Many people say “oh they are small, they won’t remember anything,” blah blah blah. I know this of course but I had plans for my first child, all the things I dreamt of whilst carrying her; and the fact that I couldn’t do some of these things because life just isn’t the same anymore, was not a nice feeling for me, at all 🥺.

Secondly, Hope’s sleep has changed and my baby that woke up once in the night is suddenly hitting milestones which has led her to practice her moving and climbing skills at odd hours of the night, or just simply waking up to feed. I have been tired 🤦🏾‍♀️

Being an (exclusive) breastfeeding mum is another thing. I was told babies don’t need to eat at night from 6 months but mate, I have been doing this almost every night to make my baby girl go back to sleep!!

Mumma’s, It has Not been easy. I genuinely have questioned what I have done wrong? Comparison is a B***h! (Excuse my language). Who said all babies sleep through the night at a certain age and who said babies don’t need to feed if they are hungry at night? I mean who?!! 🤔

I feel like this topic is not spoken about enough. If you are a sleep training mum, fair play to you however, it is not just sleep training and that’s it! Permit me to say, I have the ‘perfect child,’ but she did not take well to sleep training. This did not go down well between me and my husband (who did not like the concept of sleep training btw 🙄). We didn’t agree and this was our first experience of bumping heads in parenthood. What a WOW 🤭🥲

On another note, working out has gone DOWNHILL. I hit my goal weight and was working out 5 days a week and feeling good. The problem with overdoing things sometimes is that it leads to burnout and I think coupled with everything that has happened, I’m just too tired and haven’t started back! 😱

The excess skin and the pressure that I have put on myself to snap back, haunts me as my Apple Watch is now Idle 😩

The point I am trying to make here, by sharing my reality in the last month, is that I LOVE MOTHERHOOD and the blessings that come with it. I love my baby. 

BUT these are the moments that I Do Not love 🤦🏾‍♀️. Guilt has killed me for the moments that I have cried, for the moments that I have snapped and for the moments that I have been angry.

However, today, I have decided that I need to let it ALL go.

I almost lost motivation to blog and just did not feel that it was giving the energy that I wanted it to give. That’s life for you, it really can be a domino effect and if you don’t take life by the wheel, it can feel like you are losing control 🚨.

Today, I am in Starbucks with my baby who is on my boob; and one hand on my phone. I’m staring at my motivation (Hope), who is my forever reminder to myself to Never Give Up and always have H O P E ✨

I am fully invested in being the best mother to Hope that I am accepting that motherhood isn’t going to be the easiest ride, it will never be a bed of roses, filled with every emotion. I will enjoy the good and in the ‘bad,’ I will remember that it won’t last.

Life got in the way but I’m back! So please bear with me 🥰

To any other parent out there who is experiencing a side of motherhood that’s not your favourite… you have a crying baby, your kids are annoying you on the holidays, your baby won’t sleep, your baby won’t eat, your baby won’t nap easily, your kids are driving you up the roof; WHATEVER…. This is a reminder to you that “You are more than enough and you are not alone.” 🤗

Let’s chat… Comment below how things have been for you? Xx

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

42 thoughts on “The side of motherhood that people don’t talk about

  1. So much truth in one post! Yes our babies probably won’t remember what they missed out on but parenthood is hard enough without having to miss some of these upsides (We didn’t have a babyshower, nobody saw me during pregnancy and nobody met the baby till she was 4 months…)
    Here’s hoping sleep will improve for all of us 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Omg this is was such a relatable read! I literally walk around with mum guilt everyday, feeling like a bad mum I haven’t done this I haven’t done that. The pressure of sleep training almost drove me crazy as I didn’t do this with my first 2 children. I’m just so glad you woke out about this , as someone is struggling everyday. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I totally feel you sis!! Yes definitely and it is so important that we know where to find support and be genuine with one another! Thank you for reading sis ♥️♥️🙏🏾

        Like

    2. Exactly!! Aww, bless. The locks down really did mess a lot of things up but we thank God for our little blessings on the flip side aswell! I’m hoping with you 🤞🏾🤞🏾❤️

      Like

  2. Hey Anj,
    Just want to say what a beautiful and strong mother you are bless you for sharing your reality of motherhood.
    I believe we definitely need to be open and transparent about motherhood.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Powerful blog post and so relatable. my son is 18 months he doesn’t want to eat and he climbs out of his bed to sleep on my chest. It’s been hard but I know he will grow out of it. God bless the work of all mothers!!!😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Always love reading. You are doing amazing, and you have really let your creative juices follow with Hope 🥰 she is really growing and learning day by day ❤️ Well done girl

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Omg this spoke to me on soo many levels!! Such a good read and thank you for being soo honest about motherhood because it really is not easy for us mums! Looking forward to the next blog 🙌🏽❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for reading sis! It isn’t easy at all but that’s why it’s so important to pray, have good people around you and have blog posts like this to read haha!🤪♥️♥️♥️

      Like

  6. Great transparent and honest post Anj… that first blow of expectation vs reality is definitely something every new mother has experienced in some shape or form ! Well I know I have 🤪 but you live,love,learn and grow ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very insightful and thanks for sharing your honest thoughts.
    Your posts always remind me that motherhood is a very special which doesn’t allow the ‘one-size-fits-all’ saying.
    Continue to enjoy your journey with your precious gift and having these opened conversations with us.
    p.s – I do miss seeing your early morning updates on my AppleWatch 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is a powerful message. Motherhood has been challenging! So many conflicting thoughts. Thankful to be able to tap into the reservoir if my faith & belief in Christ. Without Him? I just don’t know how I’d cope.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s crazy that although I’m not a mum yet (t-minus 7 weeks!), I can already empathise with you. Thank you for being candid and vulnerable Anj – it really does help expecting mums like me understand it’s really not one size fits all, and that’s okay. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww thank you hun! I really am trying. I’m happy that you have found this blog post helpful and I wish you the absolute best on the journey that you are about to embark on🙏🏾🙏🏾❤️

      Like

  10. Lovely post. You really laid it all out there which itself must be therapeutic. Motherhood is a journey that will never end, I’ve accepted that and I try not to let other people’s parenting influence how I view my baby.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. My daughter is a year old and she still wakes up at the middle of the night for feeds, like I have previously said all kids are different.
    I know it seems so hard right now, just be calm, cry if you want to, pray and enjoy life.
    The Lord is your strength and you’re such an amazing mum🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My little man didn’t start sleeping through until recently (he’s 15 months) and it’s only because he tires himself out with walking all the time now. I was so desperate when he was younger for a full nights sleep and it’s still not a guaranteed full nights sleep now but I feel more accepting of it now.
    Also, one of the parts I feel people don’t talk about is the boredom! Especially when he was little. Even without lockdown I think I would have found it boring and it made me feel so guilty for feeling like that!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww bless! Hope isn’t walking yet but I’m sure the time will come when she will also tire herself out lol! I think that’s what it is! Just accepting it for what it is and hoping for the best! Mummy guilt is real and I fully appreciate what you are saying because at the beginning, all they do is eat and sleep! Thank you for sharing hun ♥️❤️

      Like

  13. What a great topic and loved reading it ❤️
    Lockdown has been a nightmare defo forced me to become more creative with my son.
    Tbh I’m just glad the world is slightly opened up and I hope better days are to come ameen ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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