Many motherhood and lifestyle bloggers, as well as influencers alike claim to portray the ‘realities of motherhood.’ I, for one, am guilty of this however, at times the pressure of social media and not wanting to be depicted as a ‘struggling mother’ or any other negative description, impacts the picture of what the reality really is😣.
I haven’t made a blog post since June and so, I wanted to share with you my reality.
Some people prefer YouTube, some like Instagram reels or Tik Tok. I like to write.
Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post, it means a lot to me 🙏🏾.
Where do I start…
Well the months leading to the ease of lockdown were not the easiest for me. At first I was nervous about leaving the house and then, I started to feel ‘locked up’ and like I was actually being robbed of making memories with my daughter 💔. This feeling was further heightened by the fact that summer has Not been SUMMERY as such (I mean we have had like two heat waves and it’s basically been winter! 😕)
Many people say “oh they are small, they won’t remember anything,” blah blah blah. I know this of course but I had plans for my first child, all the things I dreamt of whilst carrying her; and the fact that I couldn’t do some of these things because life just isn’t the same anymore, was not a nice feeling for me, at all 🥺.
Secondly, Hope’s sleep has changed and my baby that woke up once in the night is suddenly hitting milestones which has led her to practice her moving and climbing skills at odd hours of the night, or just simply waking up to feed. I have been tired 🤦🏾♀️
Being an (exclusive) breastfeeding mum is another thing. I was told babies don’t need to eat at night from 6 months but mate, I have been doing this almost every night to make my baby girl go back to sleep!!
Mumma’s, It has Not been easy. I genuinely have questioned what I have done wrong? Comparison is a B***h! (Excuse my language). Who said all babies sleep through the night at a certain age and who said babies don’t need to feed if they are hungry at night? I mean who?!! 🤔
I feel like this topic is not spoken about enough. If you are a sleep training mum, fair play to you however, it is not just sleep training and that’s it! Permit me to say, I have the ‘perfect child,’ but she did not take well to sleep training. This did not go down well between me and my husband (who did not like the concept of sleep training btw 🙄). We didn’t agree and this was our first experience of bumping heads in parenthood. What a WOW 🤭🥲
On another note, working out has gone DOWNHILL. I hit my goal weight and was working out 5 days a week and feeling good. The problem with overdoing things sometimes is that it leads to burnout and I think coupled with everything that has happened, I’m just too tired and haven’t started back! 😱
The excess skin and the pressure that I have put on myself to snap back, haunts me as my Apple Watch is now Idle 😩
The point I am trying to make here, by sharing my reality in the last month, is that I LOVE MOTHERHOOD and the blessings that come with it. I love my baby.
BUT these are the moments that I Do Not love 🤦🏾♀️. Guilt has killed me for the moments that I have cried, for the moments that I have snapped and for the moments that I have been angry.
However, today, I have decided that I need to let it ALL go.
I almost lost motivation to blog and just did not feel that it was giving the energy that I wanted it to give. That’s life for you, it really can be a domino effect and if you don’t take life by the wheel, it can feel like you are losing control 🚨.
Today, I am in Starbucks with my baby who is on my boob; and one hand on my phone. I’m staring at my motivation (Hope), who is my forever reminder to myself to Never Give Up and always have H O P E ✨
I am fully invested in being the best mother to Hope that I am accepting that motherhood isn’t going to be the easiest ride, it will never be a bed of roses, filled with every emotion. I will enjoy the good and in the ‘bad,’ I will remember that it won’t last.
Life got in the way but I’m back! So please bear with me 🥰
To any other parent out there who is experiencing a side of motherhood that’s not your favourite… you have a crying baby, your kids are annoying you on the holidays, your baby won’t sleep, your baby won’t eat, your baby won’t nap easily, your kids are driving you up the roof; WHATEVER…. This is a reminder to you that “You are more than enough and you are not alone.” 🤗
Let’s chat… Comment below how things have been for you? Xx
ANJ TALKS ♡