The easing of lockdown for a new mama

Hey mumma’s! How you doing?! I hope all is well ☺️

So lockdown has eased and I’ve been in two minds about it…

I personally feel that lockdown gave me a chance to bond a lot with my baby girl and have her all to myself 🥰😄

I am however, excited that I will finally be able to attend mother and baby classes, have mummy dates with my mates, take baby girl to places that she has never been before and do dates with daddy; etc.

On the other hand, I question how safe it is to take my daughter out amongst people and crowds. There is still some anxiety around the fact that Covid is still out there. How do you guys as mothers overcome such thoughts?!

As a mother who is still working on having the body that I want via home workouts, I want to be real here and say that I also think about how I look in my clothes compared to before; especially as I basically live in lounge wear/ pjs and legginsss!!!😍

Lockdown gave me the space to workout behind closed doors and even when I’ve not been happy about my progress, nobody was able to necessarily see! 😃

I started working out for these reasons:

⁃ To get rid of the mum body (how do you get rid of the excess skin by the way?! 🥴)

⁃ To improve my overall fitness and discipline

⁃ I enjoy seeing the changes although, why do they say breastfeeding helps you to loose weight?! I don’t think I can relate (an exclusive breastfeeding mumma) 🥲; apparently I would have been bigger if I was not 🤔

Update from my last blog on the mum body: I have actually lost some weight but there’s a constant battle between eating (which I love to do by the way) and thinking about how ‘snatched’ I could look with consistency! Lol. I also need to be more patient with the changes! 😩

I got an Apple Watch in February and it has changed my life! I love it and I would definitely recommend it! Visually seeing how many calories I’m burning is a real bonus.

Anyway, back to lockdown… For someone like me who spent majority of last year pregnant (in lockdown), then gave birth during lockdown and has been in lockdown since- the outside seems kinda scary 🤦🏾‍♀️.

So…. Just where do new mothers begin?! What have you guys got planned for your little ones? Especially if you live in London, can you recommend some places; and leave a comment please?! 👇🏾

Well. My thoughts aside. It is NOT going to stop me from ensuring my baby gets to see the outdoors!! Because it’s about baby girl, but mummy’s feelings are valid too right?

Let me know ladies… How are you feeling about the outdoors easing? What have you been doing during lockdown that you would like to maintain now that things are easing?! Do share ☺️

P.S. for those following on Instagram, my handle will be changing to @anjtalksx – please continue to support 🦋 (if your not following, then follow! 🥰)

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

Hello YOU! 🥰

This blog is to remind all mumma’s out there that we can be and DO ALL‼️

During this lockdown, it has really given me a different perspective in life. An opportunity to see life in a different lens.

I mean, sure having a baby during lockdown and when there’s a pandemic is Crazy! 🤯

Our babies do not get to see the world for how it really is (good and a bad thing I think) and it is quite isolating (I am so grateful for my support system). However, it has given me a chance to pause and reassess myself 🤔 .

Do you ever wonder WHO AM I? If you don’t, think… who are you?!

My answer is: NOT JUST A MUM.

I am:

ME (whatever that means 😀)

A…

Praying woman

Mother

Wife

Daughter

Career woman

Blogger

Friend and so much More.

I CAN BE ALL THESE HATS AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM.

When I was pregnant I wondered how I was going to cope with just being a mother? I felt that because I was going to be a mother, it meant that I would not be able to do anything else (literally). I am sure many of you possibly felt the same way. Well we all thought wrong! 👎🏾

Society and even many mothers, give the impression that you should fear being a mother; especially when you are young. People tend to talk about all that they cannot do and all the things that children stop you from doing.

Sure, things have changed. Freedom is somewhat ‘limited’ and having a child does make them the centre of attention; but it is NOT the end of the world.

My baby is 5 months tomorrow (tears of joy🥺, can I freeze time for a sec please?!) and although I have had an identity change, although I am busy, although I am dedicated to my role as a mother, I am more than JUST a mother.👸🏽

This is to let everyone who reads my blog know that you may be scared as I was, you may think how will you get through, but YOU WILL find your feet. You may question what life would mean but in fact, since I’ve become a mother, life means so much more to me 🤷🏽‍♀️.

You may have a routine or a to do list that does not go to plan as expected BUT that does not change anything. You can be and DO ALL. It will take time, it will take re-adjusting and it will take being INTENTIONAL; but mumma’s let’s grab life at its horns and GO FOR IT!!

I am far from perfect. I have my good and bad days. I have had days where I have wondered how I was going to get on but there was something I read in a devotional, in the first few months of my motherhood journey.

It highlighted to me the importance of taking God with me on the journey and when I think of how to be a perfect mother, I am to remember that it is because I am not perfect, that I have God 🤗.

Hats off to all mothers all around the world 🌍 🙌🏾. We are really trying our best! Kudos to all the mothers that have started new ventures, started studying again, planning career moves and so much more! 👏🏾 Go mumma, you got this. God got you 🙏🏾.

The reality of it is that it is not easy but please, let’s not stop praying, let’s not stop planning and let’s not stop working hard. Don’t stop being YOU (I am speaking to myself to! 🤝)

I will just leave this here…

It’s the glow for me. Me wearing all my invisible hats 👒 🙌🏾.

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

3 month review (the first trimester post-pregnancy)

Mind-blowing, selfless, amazing = MY FIRST 3 MONTHS AS A MOTHER‼️🤱🏾

My favourite people.

In all honestly, I absolutely love motherhood and cannot imagine being without my baby. Prior to being a mother, I knew that I wanted to be a mother one day but I never expected to feel the surge of love that I do since giving birth. I always felt that I wasn’t very maternal but Wow! Things have definitely changed…

MIND-BLOWING

I gave birth naturally to the love of my life. People used to always say to me that when you give birth, you forget the pain hence why people tend to want to have more kids. They were right. I haven’t forgotten the pain but I can’t explain it- I can’t fathom it. I just can’t! The fact that my baby was delivered the way that she was and then suddenly, she was in my arms; that my friends= MIND-BLOWING.

The first few days when I got home, I was overwhelmed to say the least. The rush of LOVE that filled me. I just couldn’t take it. The fact that the day before I was at home, just me and my Husband; and the next day (I went home the same day I gave birth), I was home with a newborn was just wow. I honestly couldn’t ‘deal.’ It was difficult to digest. All I knew was I loved my baby and I would guard her with my life- I knew that I loved her more than anything in this world.

Mothers, baby blues are real😳.

I experienced them a few days after giving birth- The fact that I was unable to pause to think as soon as my baby was home, my identity had changed and I had all these things to take in, was a lot. I just did not want to be a bad mum and I wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing😢- can you relate?

A midwife came to my house the day after I came home and loaded me with information, my breast started hurting and leaking with milk, the pain from the stitches- I was just so glad to have my mum around. Without my Husband, my mum and all my family helping, it would not have been easy (all people talk about are the sleepless nights- no one talks about the other subs!).

Despite their help, the reality was, I am my baby’s mother; which meant I had a new responsibility and when it came to feeding, only I could breastfeed her of course.

“ENJOY THE MOMENT, ENJOY THE NOW”

My mum

It was at this point that I made up my mind that I was going to take each day as it comes. Those baby blues disappeared as quickly as they came AND I got on with it- Welcome to motherhood Anj! ♥️😬

SELFLESS

Do you know why I have described motherhood as SELFLESS?

Selfless because at the beginning of my motherhood journey, I quickly accepted that 1) I am a mother 2) I have a baby and 3) my life has changed. Period. Once you accept these three things- it does get easier. It’s all in the mind.

This is how I’ve been able to embrace each moment. The days where things have gone well and the days where I’m like this ‘🤯🥴.’ I accepted that maternity is not an opportunity for me to skive off work and have a lie in. It is for me to bond with my baby and that is what I have been doing.

When my baby wakes up to feed, there is no such thing as “2 secs baby girl, I just want to chill for a bit” lol- (especially as my baby is exclusively breastfed/ takes breast milk only). Either way, I would not change it for the world.

The occasions where I have had so little sleep especially in my baby’s first month of life… The days where ‘routine’ flew out the window… Yes, those times are real and made me realise that my baby was my priority.

Being a mother: I am no longer the centre of the universe.

I have relinquished this position to my baby.

⭐️ Disclaimer: please note that as mothers, just because we prioritise our babies does Not mean that our mind and self are also not important!

AMAZING

Seeing my baby reach milestones has been PERFECT. It sure does reduce me to tears each time though… 😫

The fact that she is growing right before my eyes is a Blessing that I do not take for granted at all. Day 0 I was ‘shaking’ but today although I am not a pro, I can say that I am enjoying motherhood overall. What a relief when you finally ‘get it!’

3 months+ in and my baby’s sleeping longer (the bit I was excited to get to lol!) it does exist 😁. People also call my baby the ‘smiley baby’ and that alone is BLISS😃. Having my own routine also really helps and I’m enjoying that I am growing with my baby. Seeing her bond with my Hubby is also great! 🙏🏾

In my first trimester I was able to:

⁃ Celebrate my baby’s first Christmas and New Year

A memory that I will never forget.

⁃ Do my makeup about 3 times (a big deal honestly! Lol)

⁃ Return to blogging

Andddd I actually took photos of my baby every single day in her first month of life because I just couldn’t deal🤭🥰. My photo album is on overload!!! 🤦🏾‍♀️

Soooo… To end my review I would like to say:

Sure, motherhood has been AMAZING but of course, I have my days where I want to sleep undisturbed, I have my days where I want to chill with my Husband like ‘old times’; and I even have days where I wonder why I didn’t do all the things that I miss doing, better before I gave birth lol.

Nevertheless, call me MUM.

MUMMY HOPE 😊

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

Pregnant during Covid-19 (2020)

Happy New Year 🎊 (sorry it’s late)!!!! I hope you enjoyed the festive holidays as best as you can ☺️… I certainly enjoyed my baby’s first Christmas 🎄 and New Years Day (which was also my birthday 🥳 !!- First as a mummy 🥰)

Many people have asked me about my experience of being pregnant during the lockdown. Some of my friends have children already and so being pregnant during a pandemic and what that would be like, was foreign to them!

I became pregnant in January 2020 with my first child (no lockdown baby over here! 😝 lol)… Then!!!… Lo and behold… Covid-19 came.

Luckily for me, my Husband was able to follow me to some scans but at this time, our baby was so tiny! 😩♥️

I remember arriving to the Hospital- No message, no letter, no courtesy call to let us know in advance that my Husband could not attend💔. We got to the Hospital and we were told that my Husband could not follow me to my appointment; so, I was ‘forced’ to face the journey on my own…

Days/ months built up of excitement, questions to ask, imagining what our baby will look like on the scan and we were simply told NO Entry!!! My Husband spent the entire appointment (which took hours due to social distancing) waiting for me on his own.

The scan that I was upset that my Husband could not attend of all, was actually the 36 week one; where they were checking if our baby had turned in the position needed for a normal delivery. I was quite anxious.

What upset me most, was finding out that the Hospital was allowing ladies to attend the 12 or 20 weeks scans with a partner, while I had progressed to 36 weeks; and I missed this cut off date.

I did not think that this was fair because I felt that all appointments were important- especially the one when you are hitting your due date!!!! Like really?! 🥴

In addition, I did not think that it was fair for all the pregnant ladies including myself, who had to do the earlier scans on their own; to then not get the opportunity for their partners/ support to attend with them for their final one.

The fact that We had reached a milestone in our marriage that my Husband couldn’t completely engage with, was not nice at all. Even GP appointments, pregnant women were to attend on their own.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally understood the fact that this was to prevent the virus spreading, Covid-19 etc; but I do not think the perspective of pregnant women was taken into consideration when adapting Hospital policies, as a result of the virus.

Pregnant women were identified during this pandemic as being vulnerable yet I do not feel that we were offered the support needed to get through our pregnancies in entirety. When I was pregnant, I think it was easy to be overlooked if I had not been assertive.

As time progressed, I mean, I had no choice but to get used to it however, I spent a lot of my appointments in the waiting area messaging my Husband and other family members (hospital WiFi is sh*t btw!) when I could!

The long and short of it was- I adjusted to what was not the best situation but I did it because that is what I had and needed to do.

One thing that this did take away from though, is my Husband’s experience and our experience together.

My Husband was not able to ask his own questions himself, see our baby turning on the screen at scans; and the Hospitals did not allow recording of this which wasn’t great! When I would try and explain to my Husband what our baby was doing at the scans… it just did not have the same ring to it to be honest!

Overall, I would say because I had a healthy pregnancy it was not the worst and I attended a good Hospital; but my Husband being next to me would have made it way better! 🙏🏾

What I would advise/ suggest that other mothers do as we embark in lockdown 3.0:

⁃ Pray!!!

⁃ Read pregnancy apps and research on questions to ask at appointments (make it you and your partners ‘thing’ to look at your babies development on the apps together)

⁃ Speak to your family/ confidants for emotional support

⁃ Contact the GP and/ or emergency number given by your Midwife no matter how small your concern is; and be assertive (you know your body best!)

⁃ Get your scan pictures for keepsakes

⁃ Book a private scan if you are able to afford it (I booked one for my Husbands birthday and it was super special although our baby didn’t want to show her face properly lol! 🥺♥️)

⁃ Keep up to date with updates at your Hospital regarding their policies/ any changes; and what happens when you give birth

Finally, I would like to wish everyone luck on their pregnancy journey this year. I was happy to hear that the NHS guidelines have now been revised and pregnant ladies in England can have one person with them during their maternity journey- if they are not showing signs of Covid-19 (better late then never ayee?!) 👏🏾

For my ladies who have been pregnant during the virus, what was/ is your experience? What would you advice others!? Xx

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

Postpartum body

How do you embrace it?

When I became pregnant, I thought about what my baby will look like, how my life would change- social life, finances etc and taking pregnancy photos! 🥰 I’m sure all you mummy’s can relate!

No one talks much about what your Postpartum body will look like; like how you may be left with a pouch, loose skin, stretch marks etc!!! 🤯

I remember giving birth to my beautiful baby, standing up for the first time and looking at my little pouch… myself and one of the midwives chuckled lol. The female body is TRULY amazing, honestly 👸🏽.

What does bounce back or snap back even mean? As mothers, I’m sure we are all guilty of giving birth, looking at our babies in awe, then after a while our bodies….

Take me for instance, tagged and known to be slim with curves but now, looking slightly bigger (the biggest I’ve been in my life). Never had such stretch marks like this before either. The reality of it is that I tried squeezing into a size 12 pair of jeans after I gave birth and they didn’t go pass my thighs! I was gobsmacked but I also laughed about it to my Husband and Mother!! 🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ (you have to laugh). 

I’ll be honest, seeing your body go from you to YOU isn’t the easiest at times. 

The world of social media doesn’t help. Seeing the likes of Kim K for example, bounce back quickly does add pressure to many new mums. As is ladies ‘doing their bodies’ and snapping back quickly.

Your parents, in-laws and other family members mentioning how much weight you have put on doesn’t help neither! Your friends talking about how lovely someone looks in their pregnancy or maternity photos which have been overly edited, again is another pressure if you don’t feel great yourself! 

To me, the worst of this are my own self-nagging thoughts. In my opinion, no one can bring us down more than ourselves. It is how we choose to look at a situation that determines everything! It’s not easy… we do need to give ourselves more grace.

The truth is, pregnancy is beautiful whatever your experience however, it does come with sacrifices. The female body stretches, adapts, accommodates and expands just to be a home to our babies for 9 months/ +.

After that… you are left with a new body. Some people love their new ‘mummy bodies’ and some people just don’t.

Things that I have started doing/ trying to do to help me embrace my body:

  • Gratitude- thanking God for my daughter, the gift of the fruit of the womb and counting my blessings
  • Accepting encouragement- My hubby always reminds me that he’s not complaining and I’m beautiful (he’s been saying this from even when I was pregnant); (encourage yourself too!)
  • Giving myself time 🙂 (some ladies say it takes them up to a year to to get back to themselves- some say less and some say more!)
  • Walk when I can (I have plans to also do this with my friends that are mothers and who also walk their kids to shed their weight!)
  • Bio oil 
  • Trying to drink more water 
  • Gym/ home work outs (my plan!)

Are there any other tips? Or things that other mothers are doing?! Do any PT’s have any advice on fupa workouts? When would you say is the right time to start thinking about working out?… 

#Talk2Me

With love, 

ANJ TALKS ♡

Welcome back to my Blog…

2020 (sigh!), I hope that you and yours are well and staying safe 🙏🏾.

It has been AGES to say the least. The thing about life is when you start something, it is important to keep going. When you stop due to the things of life and whatever else… we allow procrastination and negative emotions to kick in. I would like to continue where I left off but bigger and Definitely better! 

To give you an update: life has hit me (in an amazing way). I am now married to my bestie- check out #MoWa19 on socials; and I recently became a mother. I gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby girl a little over a month ago and I am indeed blessed #GirlMum (I’ve been wanting to use this #) 😁.

During these last couple of years and as life has had it, my love for blogging has never ended. I have so many things that I would like to blog about; and I do really hope that you will stay tuned to read up! Especially with the lockdown- a read to keep you occupied! 🙂

Here I’ve attached a few photos of myself from my home maternity shoot with my Husband.

Some people overly edit their photos and are too scared to embrace their pregnancy bodies. I Would have been one of those people however, I decided to embrace the body, the changes; and the beauty stripes/ scars that I have and that came with carrying the love of my life- in the form of photos too.

This body carried a human. God counted me worthy of carrying a baby and even if I work on my post-baby body, I do not want to ever forget what my body went through and what it looked like.

Ladies… my fellow mothers… join me in doing the same!!

I look forward to blogging again. Thank you for your support. Please leave a comment, like and follow me! Let me know if there is anything you would specifically like me to blog about. 

Stay safe and blessed.

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

Missed Opportunities

o-GOAL-SETTING-facebook (1).jpgI initially had something else in mind for my second blog but as life has it, this topic came to my mind and I just had to write about it…

My second blog post has also taken longer than expected for me to write because I wanted to give my best to ensure that I cover all angles.

In many of our lives we have wanted to do something but have missed opportunities due to the fear of the unknown, fear of what others will say, procrastination and laziness.

Due to these reasons, many of us have also concluded that it is no longer possible in our lifetimes to gain these opportunities again or achieve some of our goals; and we have failed.

I can put my hand up and share the fact that I am a victim of this very self-inflicted limitation. I have omitted on going for opportunities due to the fact that I allowed fear to guide me rather than my faith. I allowed my confidence to be clouded by my judgement that it was either impossible for me to be able to successfully gain an opportunity; or it was impossible for me to to be successful at the opportunity in itself.

Growing up (not to brag) but I was quite a bright student. I had a good brain on my shoulders, my teachers described me as intelligent and I was determined to excel no matter what. Along the way, as many of us do in our youth, I was distracted with other things, beauty, boys, being popular and everything else under the sun. When it came to me choosing a course to study at university, I almost allowed fear to get the best of me and almost did not study for my law degree. Having Nigerian parents (not to be stereotypical) I ended up going for my law degree; but today although I am successful and I have a masters degree, I have not gone to law school.

This does not make me feel unhappy or depressed but deep down I am aware that the main reason why I did not want go to law school at the time was more to do with fear then my willingness to study at masters level. 

Why do I tell you this? I tell you this because as individuals we have missed opportunities right from our youth till this very day. Some we may look back on and thank God that we did not go for but there are some that we within ourselves know that we could have and should have gone for- but we allowed other factors, including fear to guide us.

This blog post is not about looking back in regret but about being conscious of the fact that we do this. It is about bringing awareness to our present moment and the fact that we sometimes question our own ability to succeed because we ruminate on things that have not happened and tell ourselves that we will not make it. We worry about what others will think and say about us, we dwell on past failures, think low of ourselves and we allow the devil to deter us from our hearts desires.

As a Christian, in Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord says “For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and give you a future filled with hope.” Joshua 1:9 also says “Do not be afraid, for your Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” These scriptures are not merely words but they carry something that we cannot comprehend which is light and power.

You may not be a Christian but one thing I know is that God is not a God of fear. When I say this, I talk to myself too. The devil works overtime to deter us from opportunities and we need to learn to overcome our fears. Whats really the worst that can happen? We fail? Okay… then we get up and we keep going. When I was going to start this blog I had all kinds of fears… Who would read it? How would I manage my time to write blogs? Would anyone support me? One of my friends then told me that I should “just enjoy it.” Key words but so simple.

We do our part and God will do His. What is for us will never pass us by, by God’s grace.

Key points:

  • Have faith that God will do it; Matthew 19:26
  • Don’t worry if you feel that no one supports you. Just go for it! Do not hesitate
  • Determination is a Major Key
  • Resilience- if things don’t work out the way that you plan, don’t be too hard on yourself

Come on guys lets start achieving! We can do this. I am rooting for you all 🙂

I would LOVE to hear from you guys… please feel free give your feedback on this blog post, comment and subscribe. Lets start achieving together and overcoming our fears!!! 

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡

“The Way To Get Started Is To Quit Talking And Begin Doing” – Walt Disney.

On beginning my blog, I wondered how exactly I would introduce myself to my readers. Plenty of ideas popped up and I had plenty of discussions. Finally, I came across the above quote.

So… la journée commence…

9419046

My name is Angela, Anj for short. I’m in my 20’s, a young professional and I believe in change and working towards building the best version of yourself. I am not perfect but along the way I have found a calling to help others; and encourage others to reach their full potential.

I love to talk and motivate others and so, I decided to write a blog for this purpose as well as to talk to you about lifestyle, endurance and being a young person in a world like this; which uncovers plenty of other topics. Doing this blog is actually encouragement to myself too!

In addition, I decided to start a blog because from when I was young, I loved to read and write. The power of words is not appreciated as much as ‘back in the day.’ The feeling when you are having a bad day and you come across the simplest word, such as ‘smile,’ which means so much to an individual; and this can easily be forgotten.

I want to bring this feeling back and talk to you about topics that may have come across our minds but we just haven’t explored. Things that we go through on a daily basis but you don’t have no one to talk to about it.

I usually upload daily Snapchats of encouragement using words, pictures and Bible passages- but I would like to go much more further than this.

I would like to leave permanent messages which you can read on a Monday morning when your feeling sorry for yourself, on the train when your going home or even on the toilet when you need a push 🙂

Whatever it is, I would like to reinforce the fact that words do have power and I would like to show you just how much.

I am also open to hearing topics that you would like me to talk about! So please drop a comment, I would really appreciate it. If not, then prepare yourself for the ride; get your cuppa, reading glasses or fluffy socks on, to read up on Anj Talks!

Thanks for your support.

With love,

ANJ TALKS ♡